Towing Quotes

Can anyone give me a little short funny quotes and a website or towing?

I'm not an idiot, some parts are missing.

A day without sunshine is like night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I just got lost in his thoughts. It was unfamiliar territory.

Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the mouth.

I keep hitting "escape", but I'm still here.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter, Facebook and merge. You will be called Twit-Face.

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

Vasectomy without ever needing to say you're sorry.

I have a drinking problem - I can not afford it.

When everything comes your way, you're on the wrong track.

I can not always be right, but I'm never wrong.

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

If the grass is greener on the other hand, you can bet the water bill is higher.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

Do not tell me that the sky is the limit where we put footprints on the moon.

I just read that YouTube, Twitter and Facebook merge. You will be called Twit-Face.

Politicians and diapers should be changed regularly, usually for the same reason.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

For Sale: Parachute. Used only once, never opened, small stain.


An idiot is a 37th floor window washer who follows her back to see his work.

I tried to put my head together, but now my body is falling apart!


I want to remember with people I do not know.

A penny saved is a government control.

Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.

I can not resist everything except temptation.

The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight, because then your body and your fat have learned to be very good friends.

The best way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

If you think it is good in everyone, you have not met everybody.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you will have someone to blame.

The sole purpose of a child's first name is so he can tell when it is in real trouble.

Have you ever noticed: When you put the 2 words "the" and "IRS" together, he said "their".

Going to church no more makes you a Christian than staying in a garage makes you a car.

Aging: Eventually you reach a point where you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

When you are not satisfied and want to return to youth, think of Algebra.

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today, it's called golf.

I say no to alcohol, it simply does not listen.

A friend in need is a pest indeed.

Work is fine if it does not take too much of your time.

When everything comes your way, you're on the wrong track.

The light at the end of the tunnel may be a train ..

Born free, taxed to death.

If you think you can or can not, you're right.

Everyone has a photographic memory some just did not film.

Life is unsure, always eat your dessert first.

Smile, it makes people wonder what you think.

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

It is not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere.

The problem with punctu be.